Thursday, August 11, 2016

Putting it on the Line

I am sure that my readers have wondered what is going on with my blog.  I know the posts have been sporadic and I apologize for that.  I simply have had a hard time getting myself going.  Nothing that I have previously enjoyed has been done.  I feel a little lost.

The past five years have been hard ones for me.  A lot of things have happened and I have been trying to just chug along and act like everything is wonderful, but inside I have been screaming.  Over the past five years, I have lost too many people who were important to me.  I have lost my Papa, Daddy, Dad (father-in-law), Cousin (like a big brother), Mother-in-law, and several high school friends.  With each loss, I felt as though a part of me had died.  As I struggled to keep it together and to be strong for everyone, I realized that I was losing interest in everything I cared about.  My remaining family members were becoming the only interest I had.  My world started to revolve only around them.

Chefy pointed this out to me when I stopped scrapbooking and painting.  At the same time, just cleaning my house had become a chore that I drug myself through.  All I could manage to do was to just stare blankly at the TV and scan the internet mindlessly.  If I sat down for any period of time, I would fall asleep, and no matter how hard I tried, sleeping at night, in bed, was an impossibility.  I would go 2-3 days without sleeping at all, then I would finally fall out from exhaustion and sleep for about 24 straight hours.  I was falling apart.  So much was running through my mind.  Kat was graduating from high school and would soon be heading off to the Navy.  Who would I be if I wasn't her stay at home mom?

Recently, everything came to a head and realized that no matter what, I needed to find ME!  I bought a membership to our local gym and have been going with Kat to work out about 3-4 days each week.  I started making sure I took my medication on time everyday and I started caring a little more about myself.  Chefy and I have been doing more things together, just the two of us.  I started trying new things, and now, I am getting myself back together!

My doctor has scheduled a sleep study for me in September, because she suspects I have sleep apnea. I am working on getting my sleep schedule back in gear, and by getting more exercise, I feel better, about myself and my life.  My interest in my blogging is returning and I have a LOT of posts to do to catch up.  I CAN and WILL get caught up and get back to normal.

Yes, I suffer from depression, and I never really understood what that meant.  I am now on medication and when I combine that with the daily exercise and prayer, I will get myself together!  I am important, and my life does matter!

Again, I apologize to my readers and to the companies I owe reviews.  The reviews are coming.  I am not completely back to normal, but I am closer than I have been in years!  Bear with me!  The best is yet to come!

God Bless Y'all!

1 comment:

Maryann D. said...

Best Wishes to you Shelly! You are right that you are important and life does matter! We all have to remember that.

Take care,
Maryann D.
twinkle at optonline dot net